12 Questions to Ask Before your Baby Arrives

Look in to assess who you are and ask yourself if you’re ready for the lifelong commitment of being a dad

Look out to see how family and culture will impact your role as a dad

Look up to assess your values and morals to ensure that you can set the proper moral “compass” for your child

  1. Are you ready to commit for life to the mother of your child? 

    • Perhaps the most vital factor that will affect the relationship you will have with your child is the quality of the relationship you have with the child’s mother

    • Whether married or not, you will be linked to her for life 

    • Children with married parents are healthier on average than those without married parents

    • Your child will do better when your and the mother’s goals are aligned

  2. Do you know how important it is to be involved in your child’s life? 

    • Children who live without their dads are on average at least 2-3x more likely to be poor, use drugs, and have trouble in school and with their behavior/health than children who live with both parents

    • These children are more likely to be abused and go to prison

  3. Do you have the drive and desire to be a good dad?

    • It’s best not to become a dad unless you want to become one with all your heart

    • Children need dads with the drive and desire to be a good dad

  4. Do you know how to be an involved dad? 

    • Children need you to be involved physically, emotionally, and spiritually

    • They need you to provide, nurture, and guide

  5. Are you prepared to provide? 

    • A role played by good dads is to provide for their children

    • Make sure you are ready for the financial responsibility of raising a child

    • Assess your job security, housing, and the financial stability of your life before your baby arrives

  6. Are you prepared to nurture? 

    • You need to give your child lots of hugs and kisses and tell them that you love them

    • Studies show that father love is just as vital as mother love

  7. Are you prepared to guide? 

    • A main role of a dad is to instill proper values in his children

    • If you give your child bad values, you will only give them what they need to fail

    • Make sure to teach your children solid character and proper values not just with words but with your actions

  8. What’s your own “fathering history?”

    • Men who have good relationships with their own dads tend to model the way their dads raised them

    • Men who have poor or no relationships with their own dads try to do what their dads didn’t do for them

    • It’s vital to ask how your relationship with your dad will affect the kind of dad you will be 

  9. Do you know that parenting is a team sport? 

    • You and the mother of your child will be teammates in parenting

    • Make sure you both have similar ideas about parenting

    • How alike are your approaches to raising a child? 

    • How will you discipline your child? 

    • Do you both have the same goals for your child’s education, sports, or faith? 

    • Look back at the way the mother was raised to see if any parenting conflicts might arise

  10. Do you know that children spell love “T-I-M-E?”

    • Your child will need your presence, attention, and time

    • Commit the time that you will need to the job of being a good dad

    • Your child will measure the quality of your relationship with them by the quantity of time that you spend with them 

    • Figure out how you will balance work and family time so that you spend enough time with your child

  11. Are you ready to be a role model? 

    • After you have a child, you must make all of your decisions with their well-being in mind

    • Children model how their dads care for themselves, and how you live your life will affect them

    • Are you ready to lead a healthy lifestyle so that you can be very involved in your child’s life? 

    • Fatherhood is a lifelong commitment 

  12. Are you ready for the in-laws and the rest of “the family?”

    • Don’t ignore the impact that your and the mother’s parents and relatives will have on your role as a dad

    • Both families will want to invest time and assets in your child

    • Managing the relationships they have with your child might be a challenge but these relationships will be vital to your child’s well being

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